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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Yesterday was a Hellish Day and Ended with a Hell Night

Yesterday I couldn't get in the mood. I had a list prepared but my body said "couch only today, buddy!" Probably for the better since I was in a rotten funk (lack of sleep makes me cranky!)

Anywho, when Mr G came home he wasn't feelin' it either so we went to our fool proof feel better: "White girl get cut" aka horror/slasher/dasher.

Last nite's Entry? "Hell Night" 

starring Linda Blair, Vincent Van Patten and this guy

Whom my cuckoo ass identified instantly as that guy who gets killed in the shower of "Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter" 

(Doug played by Peter Barton, gets squeaky clean before meeting Jason in "Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter", aka part Four cuz that ish never gonna end!)

Which either makes me really good at spotting pretty boys with dark hair or one of the few people who bought the Friday the 13th box set as an investment piece, either way: weird.

So back to "Hell", the movie is surprisingly good with some loose plot about four frat/sorority pledges spending a nite in the local haunted house. Inside there's all the standbys of fully lit candelabras that nobody ever questions, spiderwebs in the stair railings, see-through ghosts in the lobby and mysterious wailing coming from the attic. But the most frightening thing of all is...


Seriously who thought this face a star? Yikes! And all these lines from cute frat boys about "who is that?" and "isn't she fine?" and all. Icky. Sorry Linda Blair, I'm sure you're a lovely person but when your signature role is convincingly playing a vomit spewing girl possessed by the devil, you never were gonna be the teen dream.

Oh right, the plot. Well there's an inbred creature (or two) just trying to live they life. But up come these meddling kids trespassing into they inherited stately manor. What would you do? Exactly: run the halls offing the pledges and the brothers trying to scare them with a nice mix of kills via scythe, neck twisting and beheading. It's the only logical recourse.

Oh and before meeting his doom the Van Patten progeny for some reason runs around in his boxer shorts the whole film

Which I was ok with

So at the end of the day "Hell Night" was just what I needed. Energy up and happiness boosted. White girl get cut works every time folks! 

And did I mention it's totally available on Netflix instant? We five starred that ish!

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I'm a fashion writer who writes for Bluefly, EDGE Media, VIRAL Fashion, etc. I use "It Can't All Be Dior" as a safe release for my love of coats, cats and cake. Phew!