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Friday, December 30, 2011

Whoever Designed This Hermes Scarf Must Have Been Really Tying One On

The past few days I've been copywriting up a rack of vintage Hermes scarves and I stumbled across a reoccurring trend: cuckoo head crazy motifs.

Let's examine my favorite this week, one called 'Early America'

(Why is it Martha Wash never gets any credit?!)

Now throughout FASHIONville, Hermes scarves are known as the creme de la creme but me thinks the milk has gone bad. However,  far be it for me to question how the wealthy spend they money, cuz there's whimsy and then there's

I really don't recall the Early Americans riding around on scaly Clifford the Big Red Dogs, but then I was more an Ancient Greece kinda guy. 

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Russian VOGUE Made my Apartment a Fashion Spread!

Yeah, living with redheads and black cats is not as glamorous as it seems, let me tell you!

PETA Calls Janet Jackson Some "Nasty" Names

For her modelling in ads and designing a capsule collection for furrier, Blackglama, Janet Jackson has been named 'Grinch of the Year' by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).

Never ones to mince words or avoid controversy, PETA goes on to say

"When Janet Jackson had her infamous wardrobe malfunction during Super Bowl XXXVIII, at least what popped into view of 170 million onlookers belonged to her, unlike the animal skins she drapes herself in, which are as dead as her fashion taste and her career.”

Ooh child! I cannot wait for Ms. Jackson's response because the claws are out and it's getting down and dirty.  

But I guess that's the way love and publicity goes. 

Has This Restaurant on Spring Street Always Existed?

Cuz this is the most brilliant name for a joint

Meanwhile pressure's on for poor old Freda. Sure hope the B can cook!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Rihanna Works a New Look... Regular as 'Clockwork'

In her new video for lukewarm single "You Da One" Rihanna does a lot of crotch grabbin', dippin' and dancing with oversized playing cards while words from the song jump on screen

 Meh, but she also works a blonde bob and 'Clockwork Orange' style

Which looks really good on her and feels fresh and fun and new. So mixed bag indeed, but some good ideas in there. Here's hopin' "Drunk on Love" is much hotter. 

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Doin' It: It Can't All Be Dior on RACKED

Thanks for the link back, Racked!


It Can't All Be Dior

Toujours Vingt-et-Un?

The land of couture is about to be invaded by cheap rags with hidden Christian agendas

Forever 21 is opening their French flagship at the end of January.

Globalization continues its slow Blob-like consumption of the world's individual identities. Mon Dieu!

I'm Back...?

But in a Christmas cookie hangover....

Bare with me today...

Thursday, December 22, 2011

It's a Gift: Kelly Rowland's Presence

In 24 hours I'll be in Maryland celebrating the holidays with my family! I'm no Scrooge, so I'm leaving you with a special holiday gift.

Ms. Kelly Rowland is a judge and mentor on the UK (and far superior) X Factor and recently took to the stage to sing* a medley of hits.

The Brits LOVE her and you know what, she's definitely a favorite around the It Can't All Be Dior office.

Watch this B shimmy in hot pants as you indulge in yet another frosted baked good


Happy Holidays!

* Everytime a pop star sings live, an angel gets his wings

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Last Nite's Party: Why You Sultan in the Corner?

At W.I.P. (Work in Progress)  rumours swirled that the Prince of a certain oil controlling state was in the crowd

Whoever made up the audience, they were treated to a titillating performance from Shadow Lover including the dance art of my boyfriend and the incomparable Lola Immaculata

Never did meet no royalty....

Ain't It Punny: Long Time Sweetie

Right now at Stately Grand Street Manor, Mr G is in full baking mode complete with kerchief in hair and strategically placed dustings of flour (or at least I think that's flour....)

And now every morning I'm greeted to bags of Domino sugar on the kitchen table 

(As if I need any reminder for my daily intake)

Gotta say, I love they cheeky little slogan. Is that new? 

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Crimes of Photoshop: 'Cover' Blown

This here Cover Girl ad featuring Taylor Swift has been banned by the US's National Advertising Division of the Council of Better Business Bureaus Claims (this big old gasbag of a title has been condensed to the unfortunate acronym, NAD) for making erroneous

"superior performance claims" such as "2X more volume" and "20 percent lighter" that simply couldn't be substantiated '

What?! An ad lied to me? NO!I fully believe that skinny mid-western white girl got her drag queen lashes from a tube of magic elixir. Next you're gonna tell me her hair isn't that windswept at all times! 

Folks, news alert: the fashion and beauty industry is selling you Photoshop, not wrinkle cream and trouser suits. 

Major kudos to the Gov't for taking to task bold faced liars about the power of dime store mascara, but I hope this doesn't spiral into warnings against Miu Miu ads featuring train tracks. Cuz you don't want these NAD's all up in your face. 

Doin' It: My Birthday Party at Dave + Busters

I had to take yesterday off to recuperate from all the birthday weekend fun...

Kids, if you get the chance to ever go to a birthday party at Dave + Busters, jump at it

I haven't had so much fun in Times Square. Fruity drinks, cheesy sweet potato fries, Dr Pepper and all the games you can play. Heaven!

5,737 tickets we won through various rounds of skee-ball, hoops, this silly raccoon catches apples fallin' from the tree game and, per my sister's advice, the 'Price is Right'-esque big wheel

All those =

Giant novelty banana! 

Friday, December 16, 2011

I Just Had a Carrie Bradshaw Moment

Sorry ladies this isn't one of those fab moments of Dior saddle bags, cosmopolitans and it restaurants.

Rather I sat in my office and listened to my adjacent co-workers talk about their investments, how they've diversified their IRA's and opened money market accounts when they were seventeen and how it's a great time to buy up cheap stocks.

I mentally dipped out to fix the buttons on my Ben Sherman dress shirt (patterned after the Marimekko I'm inspired by but can't afford.) I took the premature withdrawal in hopes that the continuous calculations of how to juggle birthday parties this weekend, holiday parties the next and new years the next while still paying rent weren't legible to anyone nearby. Plain and simple: I don't fit with this financially fiscal crowd. Nothing's fomenting for me in some stowed away account except hopes and prayers

See much like Sarah Jessica Parker's signature role, my interest over the years was towards inappropriate dress, magical evenings and witty banter

My stocks are null and void but my late nite liaisons have been quite diverse. I got no home equity but an unending portfolio of tales for the grandkids.. or at least the next cocktail party. Invitations being the bold print letters I'm getting in the mail.

Luckily for fantasy land Carrie Bradshaw she learned how to marry well and all was happily ever after and a walk in closet

My real life self worries. I know my fair share of creative types who ain't got a house of their own to piss in. Rent paying, still struggling. And that's definitely one list I don't want to be on.

So with my impending birthday on Sunday, I can't help but wonder: is it possible to never give up the youthful pursuit of play and still have to work for it?

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Happy Birthday Cindy Birdsong!

Man, there have been some 60's singing icons this week!

(Mary in the center cuts eyes while Cindy looks on and Diana.... does Diana)

Supreme and Flo replacement, Cindy Birdsong swooped onto the stage and into our hearts after Flo was unceremoniously fired in 1967. She had come from a successful run in Patti LaBelle and the Blue Belles (and some fill in moments for Ballard who struggled with alcoholism, amongst other issues) and was thrust into a tense moment in Supreme history. Diana was planning her exit and Mary had been pushed to the back and completely left off all official recordings. Dang!

I could go on, but for now, you, Miss Birdsong, are my excuse for poppin' a bottle o bubbly tonite!


It Can't All Be Dior

It's a Gift: Ginger Soap from Body Shop

Guys don't make gift giving easy especially if they're before their tie receiving prime but beyond the age of Legos (although I beg to quibble that expiration date.)

One thing guys of any age have in common: they're dirty. Trust me; I am one. I know. Why not give them an elegant but masculine soap to remedy that problem 

The Body Shop's ginger soap feels like a luxurious present and features a refreshingly woodsy scent. The ground walnut shells exfoliate without being abrasive and the smell is a complex mix of spicy warmth, toasted chestnut, a spike of candied orange rind and a hint of rustic sweetness like brown sugar or molasses. 

Added bonus: like every Body Shop item for the past thirty-five years, this soap is not tested on animals. It also does not contain parabens and is made with Community Fair Trade soya oil

The results are a cruelty free soap that leaves a light, invigorating ginger scent and skin soft. Man, oh man! 

I highly recommend this soap for you, your boo or any dude on your holiday list. There's an extensive supporting line too if your man's comfortable enough to indulge in lotions and scrubs. No judgement

(The Body Shop ginger soap, $5 for 3.5 oz bar, other sizes and products featured in this scent,

Marriage is for Old Folks

The cover of today's AM New York trumpeted some unsurprising news: folks ain't gettin' hitched!

And while New York City's rate is below average (40%), the country as a whole has lost interest in the old ball and chain with only 51% of people over age of 18 married.

So what are people opting for instead? Career.

" 'Everything is getting more and more expensive. And you need [more money] to build a solid foundation for life,' said Mario Skaric, 21, of the Upper East Side, adding that he wouldn't get married until 'I know I can support a family without any financial difficulties.' "

And in a hardcore recession where economic rebound seems forever on that far off horizon and news of Europe's daily domino dollar dip is on the adjacent page of this article, is it any wonder people are eying financial security over rings and roses?

I can't wait to discus this with my friends back home when I return for Christmas. My friends and all their spouses.

Going for the Gold (Beauty Trend)

Featured in VOGUE's December issue was a "Oh silly rich people" suggestion of gilding your face for holiday parties. Seriously

The one page real estate harkens to the confidence VOGUE has in this trend blowing up, yet Bloomingdale's took it to heart, slathering their Soho mannequins in a facial gold rush

And Broadway between Broome and Spring Street must have a magazine share program, because a mere block away our Brit friends at Topshop applied goldleaf to the MALE mannequins too. Who says you just guild the 'Lily', when Luke and Larry can sport a metallic mug too

Meanwhile, I say until they go all Jill Masterson, I'm gonna give this emerging beauty trend the golden ticket. I can't wait to see ladies (and lads!) at cocktail parties radiating with those golden complexions.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Belle & Clive Deliver with Vintage Chanel and Louis Vuitton

Bluefly's flash site launch, Belle & Clive launched today and starting things off with a bang: Vintage Chanel and Louis Vuitton!

Go. Now.

Christmas Night Fever

Paul Smith's holiday window features little dioramas including this boogie Winter Wonderland 

Go Santa, go Santa

Still Re-Adjusting to That Wacky World of Office Life

This is my version of Dilbert: two feral bobcats stuck in corporate America try to keep the pretense up.

Courtesy of The Oatmeal, one of my fave daily distractions.

When my boss isn't looking.

Joyeux Anniversaire, Jane Birkin!

And just like that, you're on personal "I must wish her happy birthday" relations with an icon...


Video of Ms. Birkin frolicking beautifully from Pierre Grimblat's "Slogan", the 1969 film where she met Mr Gainsbourg and the world tilted a little.

(Song from the Serge Gainsbourg crafted soundtrack to William Klein's 1969 patriotic spoof, "Mister Freedom" . Remind me to get that soundtrack!)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Window Dressing on the Side: Out Jumps Evil Illuminated Santa Claus

Desigual is this great omnipresence in Spain that here in New York is just yet another hooker wear peddler on Broadway.

But what the hell is going on with this creep-tastic holiday window?

More than reindeer would pause if this glassy eyed, fat, red light mound of plastic head and hands was clawing its way over on my Christmas eve

Shut Up and Give Me Some Bread

Are you a carb fiend like me? Then this week's New York Magazine has got some dirty, dirty pictures for you to feast your eyes on

I want one of each! Get all slutty with that sourdough and riled up for that rye and pump that pumpernickel....

Caffeinated Bougie White Women on the Loose: Jimmy Choo Croc-Embossed Coffee Cup Sleeve

Are designer coffee cup sleeves a thing? I was totally out of the loop but then I might be the only white person in the world who actually makes their own coffee. 
Ugh, in times of recession the new depths of greed people sink to is particularly gross.

This $165 little monstrosity of humanity comes in both "Orange you glad you're wealthy" and "Perfect Princess Pink". Ick.

It's a Gift: Hunter Intarsia Sweater

Even though I'm a vegetarian this hunter intarsia knit sweater on Ebay right now would be a-ok in my holiday stocking this year

And it's perfect cuz until my paycheck gets that mythical bump I hear is supposed to happen in your 30's, this is as close to Hermes as I'ma gonna get

(100% Acrylic goldenrod intarsia hunter pattern crewneck sweater, Fuzz Dandy,  $34.35 at

About Me

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I'm a fashion writer who writes for Bluefly, EDGE Media, VIRAL Fashion, etc. I use "It Can't All Be Dior" as a safe release for my love of coats, cats and cake. Phew!