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Monday, April 11, 2011

I've Been Naughty

Have I mentioned I have a nerdy side? Probably doesn't need illuminating, eh? You can smell the nerd a mile away I bet. Anywho, I do and one of the keys of this is how much video games can tickle my little heart. Obsessive gameplay creates a focus that eliminates such social niceties like listening to friends, answering my mom's phone calls and avoiding tardiness for parties. I'm transfixed and it's gonna take more than the promise of open bar to unhinge me.

The latest glue trap is a game Mr G picked up a year ago but that picked me up just recently: Naughty Bear

You play Naughty Bear a social outcast on Perfection Island. He tries to bridge the social gap with the in crowd of teddy bears after they "forget" to invite him to Daddles' birthday party. But instead of warm welcomes he gets icy degrading laughter from guests Chubby and Giggles

(Lesson here, kids: don't be a snotty b***h)

Fine. Be that way, but there will be hell to pay

It's cartoon teddy bear revenge time!

(First they dance....)

(Then they die!)

That's right, for the crime of public mockery you exact a sweet murderous revenge on the crew of cute

The game smartly lets you use both environment to murder maliciously

(Throw another bear on the barbie!)

and the bears' own fear of Naughty to drive them crazy! Drive them so far over the edge and they take matters into their own hands

(Nothing can stop Naughty, not the FBI, the PTA....)

Trust me nothing relieves the tensions of the day like beating the stuffing out of some cliquey, elitist bears.

Smash them, bash them, now they're history!

If I haven't already sold you on, this trailer will cement the deal

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I'm a fashion writer who writes for Bluefly, EDGE Media, VIRAL Fashion, etc. I use "It Can't All Be Dior" as a safe release for my love of coats, cats and cake. Phew!