One of the many boring Jessicas covers the December issue of ELLE magazine
but that's not even my main gripe here. ELLE's picked up this bad habit of denoting a theme to each issue of the year and out of nowhere (perhaps to time with Art Basel?) decided December is now "ART-ember", celebrating artists and the art scene.
Strip me of my gay card and all, but I couldn't snooze faster at the mention of "ART". Yuk. So pretentious and preposterous the way those white folks flit about flapping hands and making wild gestures over adolescent splatter and nude self-portraits while onlookers nod approvingly and sip cheap magnum wine. Ugh
Sure enough I breeze through the front of book's tedious "we can make this tie together, I swear" pile up and into the well featuring a stunning China Chow in the most uninspired outfits
How is that even possible? This B's got style enough for all 12 issues!
Sadly the whole thing wraps up with the back cover's Dolce & Gabbana ad with Ms Scarlett Jo-Blank Stare
So bookend dull starlets, missed opportunities with actual women of (color!) style and pigeon holed, irrelevant concepts....
Isn't there a holiday or two going on, ELLE? DON'T be such a Grinch!