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Friday, September 2, 2011

For Real? Estate

Do you ever have that conversation, as a New Yorker, with your momma or friends back home, where you've hit, you know, a "certain age" where renting in the non-New York real world is considered a little young? But then you try to explain to people who are now renting out their "starter homes" that New York rents are a tad bit higher than most people's mortgage (luxury apartments on the water rent for $1,000 in Baltimore!)

Well rest assured. I thought I'd do us all a service and start laying out some of the ludicrous listings we face.

Let's start with this "West Village Cottage" at 5 Grove Court, a respite tucked away between Hudson and Bedford Street and immersed in rustic details usually saved for coming of age novels based in New England

Oh look at that, sure enough, according to Corcoran  this little red brick beauty from 1842 "was the setting for O. Henry's story 'The Last Leaf' 

And just look at these details:

  • Mature specimen trees (Eww, is that like creepy old man trees preying on saplings?)

  • Shutters, window boxes, flower beds (Soil and shutters? Oh you fancy, huh?)

  • Handsome working kitchen (God, Gene, next they'll want running water. Needy, needy.)

(I guess it's "handsome". More like "I've seen you with worse.")

  • Lush gardens of ivy and 3 fireplaces (I ain't gonna lie: that be real nice.)

(Typical New York: the bed take up 3/4 the room.)

A literature inspiring private oasis in the heart of one of the most covetable neighborhoods in the city? Oh, this oughta be good

PRICE: $4,250,000

Annual Taxes: $12,194

But you can boast to your friends in the bread line that it was featured in Architectural Digest.

Got 4 Mil sittin' around:

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I'm a fashion writer who writes for Bluefly, EDGE Media, VIRAL Fashion, etc. I use "It Can't All Be Dior" as a safe release for my love of coats, cats and cake. Phew!