What's French for Ridiculous?

Hey rich people? Got a spare $750 lying around and a great love of tomatoes? Well, this Hermes leather tomato coin pouch up on luxury resale site, Portero, is the faboo piece you've been waiting for 

Or you could donate money to a food shelter... just sayin'... 

Three Makes it a Trend: Mariacarla Boscono is Killin' it for Fall 2013

If I've never mentioned it before, I LOVE me some Mariacarla Boscono! Her chilly eyes and sharp cheekbones with that wash of raven hair... yes X three! 


And Fall 2013 had her at rare form 










Here's Mariacarla closing out Vionnet all Greek goddess at the disco draped 

Watch Mariacarla cut quite the figure opening the Hermes show with a swatch of wool and a deadly stare 






























You can put Mariacarla in a shapeless sweater and bathing 
skull cap (?) and that B shines her light through it all

Aint nothin' you can't throw at Mariacarla and she make look sizzlin'! 

Go on now! 

I'm Now Livin' on the EDGE

Make sure to check out my first fashion post on LGBT news network, Edge on the Net, 
where I'm now a fashion contributer:

2012 Fashion Trends to End

Click on image above of fashion crime, Kim Kardashian, or the link below. 

Enjoy! More to come. 

Original Link: http://www.edgeonthenet.com/style/fashion//140365/2012_fashion_trends_to_end

Murder Hermes Wrote

(Cotton blend 'Murder Paris' t-shirt, $55 at The Fancy, http://www.thefancy.com/things/163378585204164472/Murder-Paris-T-Shirt)

Date Movie: Spirits of the Dead

After weeks of holiday go, go, go, Mr G and I were due for a roommate nite in. What better excuse than leftover Christmas cookies and Jane Fonda?

More specifically Jane Fonda's wardrobe

After displaying his wife's ability to change and unchange in rapid succession in Barbarella, Roger Vadim once again takes full advantage of 60's peak Jane in this lush adaption of an Edgar Allen Poe tale, "Metzengerstein" (one of three. The other two directed by Fellini and Louis Malle)

(So Gaultier for Hermes, non?)

Man he loves to play Barbie with her. Makes you wonder what home life was like....

Mr G and I loved this mess with its inexplicable implied romance between Jane and a black horse that represents her dead lover (played by real life brother, Peter Fonda) she accidentally murdered when she burned his barn down after he spurned her advances.

Yup

(Don't fuck with Jane)

Haunted by beastly brotherly love, she rides the black stallion off into a firestorm upon completion of a commissioned tapestry bearing his likeness

And butt be out! 

This is just the inspiring love story one needs to start the new year, right. 

As for the other two tales of this triptych, Bardot is stunning as a brunette and a young Terrance Stamp reminds me of an ex of mine, but both are equally tedious without the fag bait of a killer wardrobe. Skip. 

Whoever Designed This Hermes Scarf Must Have Been Really Tying One On

The past few days I've been copywriting up a rack of vintage Hermes scarves and I stumbled across a reoccurring trend: cuckoo head crazy motifs.


Let's examine my favorite this week, one called 'Early America'

(Why is it Martha Wash never gets any credit?!)

Now throughout FASHIONville, Hermes scarves are known as the creme de la creme but me thinks the milk has gone bad. However,  far be it for me to question how the wealthy spend they money, cuz there's whimsy and then there's

I really don't recall the Early Americans riding around on scaly Clifford the Big Red Dogs, but then I was more an Ancient Greece kinda guy. 

It's a Gift: Hunter Intarsia Sweater

Even though I'm a vegetarian this hunter intarsia knit sweater on Ebay right now would be a-ok in my holiday stocking this year

And it's perfect cuz until my paycheck gets that mythical bump I hear is supposed to happen in your 30's, this is as close to Hermes as I'ma gonna get

(100% Acrylic goldenrod intarsia hunter pattern crewneck sweater, Fuzz Dandy,  $34.35 at
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Mens-mustard-country-hunting-jumper-indie-vtg-s-m-l-xl-/290537098360?pt=UK_Men_s_Jumpers_Cardigans&var=&hash=item895f93ef76)

Last Nite's Party: Not Just an Hermes Bag, Honey

When Mr. G called with a "So I got an extra ticket to see Jane Birkin tonite at Town Hall, wanna go?"... I mean how else could I reply than with an ecstatic "YES!"

My eyes no longer fixed on the umpteenth Givenchy Nightingale bag I'd described on a rare Sunday office day (ooh another earned comp day off for a rainy February day) I jumped. Leapt. Shouted. My co-worker perplexed, "Wait...who?"

Flummoxed, I had to call someone who would appreciate seeing a style icon and wife to a lyrical genius: Ms. Stillrich never fails and sure enough she was over the moon on this monumental moment in my monthly. 

Joey Arias more than opened the show with a borderline coup of cooing, trilling and scatting. The four song set was over too quick and featured buoyant versions of "Why Don't You Do Right" and Billie Holiday's "God Bless the Child"

Après, Ms Jane Birkin....

That B knew how to enter with my personal favorite Serge song, "Requiem Pour Un Con".

The show was a smashing one off spent with a legend of the fashion, art, music and film world. The seemingly inevitable Joey/Jane duet never emerged, but Birkin wowed the audience for over 2 hours and we left whispering "Oui.... nous l'aimons...."

And HERMES!

Fatima definitely has the most covetable post ANTM modeling career with shoots in Marie Claire and other high-profile magazines and now walking the runways of Paris for Dries Van Noten and Hermes.

Who needs Covergirl, honey!

I Still Say Gaultier Should Get the Gig

In an interview in this week's New Yorker, jean Paul Gaultier tells how he once turned down John Galliano's open spot at Givenchy. Gaultier was holding out for Dior

“I thought Givenchy was very bourgeois,” [Gaultier] said. “I loved Saint Laurent, Dior, Cardin. Givenchy was not a dream of mine. So I told Mr. Arnault no, I was not dreaming of Givenchy.”

Perhaps LVMH could still see the opportunity to offer up Dior to this master couturier? He's been my front runner for awhile and is quite sharp at accessing the core spirit of a brand and turning it on its head with his wild touches (see: Hermes)

Doin' It: Vintage Hermes Robe on Ebay

I don't wear a robe, but boy oh boy if I did, I'd traipse around the apartment in a cheetah print terry cloth hooded number from Hermes. Bring on the baths, darlin', cuz I'm never leaving the house! Meow!

(Vintage Hermes terrycloth robe, size small, $489, at http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=200642982634#ht_5188wt_1344)

Vous êtes Monocle!

Would an "eyeglass necklace" by another name not look as sweet?

(Vintage Chanel Eyeglass Necklace, price upon request at Resurrection Vintage Online, 

http://www.resurrectionvintage.com)

Slap any name on it you want, Resurrection Vintage but it will always be a "chain monocle". 

And I got my share of fashion friends that agree it's about time this look came back 

(Madonna, duh)

(Natalia Vadianova and Hermes)

(Johnny Depp)

(and Winona, forever)

And with Spring finally here couldn't you just see girls (and some astute boys, of course) wearing these little danglers of design and drama with their rolled sleeve blazers? Or magnifying all those prints that are so omnipresent right now? In fact I kinda like the idea of a 70's Shanghai Louis Vuitton style gal pulling up her chain monocle to give you an icy glare. Maybe that's vision of Bond girls dancing in my head again....

Either way, I'ma troll the vintage stores on the lookout for one of these that isn't so expensive you've gotta request the price. 

Revolving Diors

Ok with John Galliano suspended and obviously not coming back, a successor is needed for Christian Dior. Someone who can handle both the Ready to Wear and the Haute Couture.


Here's some of my suggestions




1. Jean Paul Gauliter

A very obvious choice what with his enfant terrible reputation and his love for the dramatic. He could easily carry Dior forward and is available for another house with fashion history to take on since he left Hermes.





2. Olivier Theyskens

I know he's busy with Theory and all, but after a triumphant turn at Nina Ricci and an equally dramatic oust, critical darling, Theyskiens, would be up for the challenge, I'm sure.





3. Stefano Pilati

With rumors swirling once more that the Gucci group is on the verge on letting him  go from Yves Saint Laurent, he'd be open for a job and obviously familiar with the pressures of taking on such a revered French fashion house.




4. Giambattista Valli

This man knows how to dress a woman so she is the epitome of glamour and sophistication. He has a large celebrity following, which LVMH will need to pull Dior's reputation back (there will unfortunately  be a negative view connected until someone is able to wipe the slate clean).



With so many talents around, though, there isn't a shortage of designers to take over and perhaps we can look at this as a breath of fresh air and forward momentum for Dior.

Erin O'Connor Makes a Paris Cameo for Gaultier

Swan necked English rose, Erin O'Connor, returned to the Paris runways this week for her pal, Jean Paul Gaultier's Hermes swan song

Looking unaffectedly refined (in that particularly cold way British women with money mature), Erin represents a perfect mix of hard and punky with a sleek heritage which, coincidentally, was also Gaultier's design mix while at the helm of Hermes

("I may be fabulously wealthy, but I like it a little dirty," she purred)

I'll miss JPG's Hermes tenure but was glad for one last hurrah!

(cutie)