Check Out my "Back to School" Uniforms Guest Post on Two and Seven

A little round up I did for Two and Seven about fashion folks who have a uniform and/or signature hairstyle 

 http://www.twoandseven.com/2012/09/04/uniform-style/

Project Runway All Stars: U.N. Me?

Man this week's All Stars really blew, am I right? You give them some hollow flag challenge at the U.N. and then get mad at them for making things that felt like Epcot costume castoffs? Geez, make up your mind, judges!

Colors of the World / Spice up your life! Or pose for it, damnit! 

As for the designs, these are dresses we've seen before and far better






AUSTIN

This draped, chiffon with knotting detail became one of Austin's signatures. This ain't it.






MONDO

He did a very similar silhouette for that polka dot number Michael Kors and Nina Garcia hated but Heidi promised (and delivered!) to wear. That was better.



In this week's awarding of the prize, I'ma do something a little controversial and dole it out based not on the clothes on the runway but the clothes on their backs.

Austin's gay gestapo wins by a leg warmer!

Score:


Austin   4

Mondo  4

This Week's Project Runway Moment

(It didn't help that Danielle's model is doin' her best Maureen O'Hara)

Michael Kors pulled one of his I'm a Southern fashion designer colloquialisms when he assessed contestant Danielle's green silk blousey blazer:

"Unless you're Joan Crawford going to a St Patrick's Day party, you're not wearing that!"

Begorrah! I'll be awaiting my invitation to that fete come March!

DON'T: Computer Animated Beloved Cartoons are not Models (or Street Walkers)

Maybe I'm a bitter old man crushed to see a cartoon of my youth soiled by CGI or a once golden fashion magazine resort to stunt casting but this leaked image of Smurfette in Lanvin, Marc Jacobs and other Fall 2011 accessories makes me sad

It looks about as real, I guess, as any other fashion magazine model post-Photoshop, but, as Michael Kors would say, I question the taste level. These looks are more Julia Roberts' outfits before Richard Gere takes her off the streets and I'm sorry Smurfette was not three apples tall for any blowjob advantage!

Another step into the unemployment line, Glenda (although I enjoy the subtle wink to your Hogatha nickname)

This Week's Project Runway Moment

Wow. Did not see this one coming. I couldn't believe last nite I was actually having to shout at the tv, "the clear winner is Mondo!" Imagine my further surprise when my two 'team Mondo' co-horts were none other than Heidi Klum and Jessica Simpson. PS: Jessica, honey, you looked and sounded a mess. Did you just have dental work, why do you sound like that? Mr Taurus thinks you had your lips plumped

(oh, honey, where's Michael Kors yelling "mother of the bride" when you need him?)

Anywho, Mondo's embrace of prints and colors I thought was finally going to be rewarded in fashion

(Mondo's final collection pieces. I love the winks at cohesion like the digitized houndstooth in the clutch and the skirt in these two looks. It's smart and he wears his wit on his sleeve)

(but for some reason The Great Pumpkin to the left here really liked Gretchen)

See the hugely objectionable part of last nite was when Nina and Michael said Gretchen's loose, shapeless Boho clothes in jersey and a muted palate were where fashion is going next. No, unfortunately, that sloppy street urchin look has been the rage for far too long. Look life is difficult, I understand, but getting dressed in the morning is one of the best parts. Stop trying to turn your pajamas into your look, ladies. And stop hiding under layers that hang off your body. As it stands Gretchen's "forward" look can be seen right now at Free People, Rag&Bone, All Saints and many, many more. Trust me

(Gretchen's "fashion forward" designs)

But I digress. I believe like Austin before him, he was robbed an obvious win but will go on to be successful and will find a perfect fit home in fashion design

Still totally team Mondo!

This Week's Project Runway Moment

Was I the only one that saw a ready to wear Cousin It during Michael C's last minute delirium performance of "Taliban Chic"?

However, I did quite enjoy when he emulated Michael Kors with his ooh, girl "I wanna put that on with a pair of heels and call it a day!"

But then if anyone knows how to mimic Michael Kors' voice, it's Michael C!

His mediocre dress that got showered with praise was straight up Kors-ish. ZZzzzzz...

(Michael C)                                                                                                (Michael K, Spring 2011)

This Week's Project Runway Moment

In a week when Heidi Klum had the nerve to throw an icky "active wear" challenge at the designers and then be bitchily surprised by their less than enthused response, it was a laugh out loud broken English moment when she took to critiquing Gretchen this week

"It's a little bit too.... you call it Hosh-Kaposh?"

Michael dryly corrected Heidi: "Hodgepodge"

"Oh right, 'hodgepodge' "

You say tomato, I say hilarious shade all around! 

Thrown a Curve 'Ball'

(Queen of the Universe in and with Oscar de la Renta)

A few weeks ago I wrote how there was none of the usual hype for this year's Costume Institute Ball at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Well where there's no smoke, there's none of that fire. And last nite was in desperate need of a bellow.

(Hilary Rhoda in Prabal Gurung)

(Naomi Campbell in

Dolce +Gabbana)                                       

Ladies, these outfits are weak. This is your moment to give us a giant sartorial bitch slap, Alexis Carrington style. This is more like Amanda Woodward lite.

(Jessica Stam in Rachel Roy)

(Zoe Saldana in Calvin Klein)

                                                               

Things I did like: lots of models present, granted outside Naomi no "supers". Where's Kate? Stephanie? Alek? Karen Elson? Could they smell this stinker a mile away?

(Chanel Iman doin' it in Michael Kors)

And I liked that most guests repped for American designers (again except Naomi. Oh Nomes! Gotta love ya!)

And these usual suspects looked good:

(Chloe Sevigny in Proenza Schouler)

(Nicole Richie in Marc Jacobs)

      

(Rachel Zoe in Marc Jacobs)

(Gwen Stefani in LAMB)

  

And obviously let my US Weekly subscription lapse, cuz when did these two get back together???

(Sienna Miller in Pucci and Jude Law)

But hands down the best look of the evening belongs to:

(Dreamboat Christopher Bailey

and non-descript young'in white girl actress  #4)