MET Ball Throwdown

Uninspired comedians (here's looking at you, Chelsea) may toss around the tired trope of The Oscars being the super bowl of the gays, but for my money, The MET Ball brings all the boys to the yard.



THE GOOD

(Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Burberry)

A Lurex and Aqua Net wonder of 60's, Anglomania references

(Carey Mulligan in Prada) 

A bit Paco Rabanne, non? J'adore ca. 

(China Chow in Jean Paul Gaultier Haute couture)

My vote for best dressed. But then Ms, Chow is not unfamiliar with that accolade. 

THE BAD

(Kirsten Dunst in Rodarte)

Why did she go all Money Penny here? 

(Anja Rubik in Anthony Vaccarello)

You're a model and you have a perfect body that you work hard to maintain, honey, we get it. But that's a lot of skin to be showing when Rosie Hunt's complete covered up. 

(Beyoncé in Givenchy Haute Couture)

Umm... no. And shame on Givenchy for making this MACY's meets Carnivale look. 

THE UGLY

(Rennee Zellweger in Pucci)

Why must she always make that snot face. Ugh. 

And to cleanse the palate...

THE SEXY

(Swizz Beats in Givenchy)

Man, he fills a suit out well. Oh yeah, Alicia Keys be there too. I guess. 

DON'T: ELLE's Drab Work of ART

One of the many boring Jessicas covers the December issue of ELLE magazine

but that's not even my main gripe here. ELLE's picked up this bad habit of denoting a theme to each issue of the year and out of nowhere (perhaps to time with Art Basel?) decided December is now "ART-ember", celebrating artists and the art scene.



Meh.




Strip me of my gay card and all, but I couldn't snooze faster at the mention of "ART". Yuk. So pretentious and preposterous the way those white folks flit about flapping hands and making wild gestures over adolescent splatter and nude self-portraits while onlookers nod approvingly and sip cheap magnum wine. Ugh






Sure enough I breeze through the front of book's tedious "we can make this tie together, I swear" pile up and into the well featuring a stunning China Chow in the most uninspired outfits

How is that even possible? This B's got style enough for all 12 issues!


Sadly the whole thing wraps up with the back cover's Dolce & Gabbana ad with Ms Scarlett Jo-Blank Stare

So bookend dull starlets, missed opportunities with actual women of (color!) style and pigeon holed, irrelevant concepts....

Isn't there a holiday or two going on, ELLE?  DON'T be such a Grinch!