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Friday, December 31, 2010

DON'T: Happy New Year Tiaras are not Daytime Attire




Hi ladies, I know you're very excited about tonite's impending festivities but must I remind you that it's tonite and the only excuse for wearing silly hats as such is because you're drunk and in a dark room full of strangers. 


These hats are not made to be worn all day while you shop for Uggs. 


New Year, New Yorker





Mr G is an avid subscriber of The New Yorker for the various articles and book excerpts. I am a fan of the cover art, especially this Alexey Brodovitch-esque design to ring in 2011. 

Graphic and clean and composed of shapes, I didn't even notice the 11 at first since the reveller is so prominent and festive. 

Funny how so stodgy a publication managed to get the New Years experience in full in one sharp image (I swear the 11 eyes and the discordant tone hint at the way we'll all feel come Saturday morning) 




He's Got Your Back




Sometimes when walking down the street, you get a tinge of "is this the right costume for the day?"


And like magic a chalk demon informs you that your eye for style is still razor sharp





Thanks for the props, Chalk Demon. Thanks.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

This Year I Resolve...

to stop demonizing the New York City subway






although yet another fare hike kicks in today and that makes it a tad harder 
to follow thru


Umm This Be Good: Sale Away



Look if you're like most people, you either have items not received off your list to Santa or a pocket full of gift cards (or both).

Luckily for you, everyone and they momma having "get this ish that's been in this store since August up outta here" sale right now.

50% off is just the beginning folks as many stores like Saks, MACY's and French Connection are doubling discounts. And double is always better!

This New Year's Eve Outfit is a Cinch



Well, well, well Mr Lionhead door knocker belt, I bet you think you got this in the bag for best belt of 2010 and I can understand your bravado. I will always advocate a Gold Lion with its lucky Leo charm and symbolic strength, it rings very Anne Klein meets Charlemagne

And that's always the proper look to send the old year sailing out in style






and you know what pair this with a sheer tuxedo shirt, "leather" matchstick pants and a gold platform slingback and dance right into 2011


So here's the formula

1. BELT


2. SHEER TUX BLOUSE



(Sheer silk georgette tux blouse with frayed yoke in light blue, L'agence, $252 at Barneys New York, http://www.barneys.com)




3. "LEATHER" MATCHSTICKS



(Pleather matchstick pants, Express, $30, www.express.com)



4. GOLD PLATFORM SLINGBACKS

(Sheepskin gold platform, Milanoo, $56 at www.milanoo.com)



5. RED RED LIP!




(Black leather wide belt with gold tone lion head and studs, Temperley London, $168 at The Outnet, http://www.theoutnet.com/product/223100)

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

My Latest Get Rich Quick Scheme: Your Other Half.com



While at Stanton Public the other nite munching on p-corn, the bartender, Christina, told us about all the clothes in the lost and found left behind by clients distracted by gossip, drunkenness and first dates: scarves, hats and such (fun fact: hoodies make up the largest percentage of accidental sartorial leave behinds)





This led to her telling how she herself has lost many a right hand in sets of Isotoner gloves her Grandma sends her every year for X-mas



Just then, a thought--- why not connect all these dots and make a dating site where you post your left side purple cashmere cable knit mitten to be paired up with that sad sap who has only the right side. We decided to call it "The Other Half.com"




After all, if you meet a man who wears his Love for "Night of the Hunter" on his hand, it's meant, honey. Or at least someone to kiss on New Year's

Adele's Prop Stylist is Rolling in Deep Doo Doo

The striking simple visuals in Adele's video for new single, "Rolling in the Deep",  play nicely to the strong and repetitive beat of the song but pity the poor prop stylist who had to set up all those water glasses and explain why plates were returned broken or missing






and even worse the unlucky guy who had to craft that paper city. You know they didn't get that right on the first take

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Even the Leprechaun Wouldn't Be Caught in this Hood

If you are wearing these god awful Lilian Vernon-esque hoodies from Old Navy with the built-in headphones, expect to get beat no matter what "hood" you in








cuz these just scream chump white boy with too much money on his hands





****this post comes with a sidebar though as I'm pretty sure that's Fo from America's Next Top Model again booking those mainstream ad campaigns that equal big bucks



Old Navy never came a courtin' for no Saleisha

Three Makes it a Trend: Visible Tracks

Girl, never let them see you sweat and never let a track be exposed. These are golden rules of style, but during this holiday season stores embraced the visible cord look and let what was once unseemly wiring show.

But what's with this new aesthetic? What is it trying to say? Is this supposed to be industrial, minimal and exposed or disorderly and bohemian? Let's take a look



(GAP at Astor Place knows grey knit scarves need a little spotlighting to look bright and new and the rigging is a graphic distraction but I'd be tiffed if I was that obscured girl in the ad)




(Urban Outfitters in NoHo may wanna keep that dog from gnawing on the cords. We've all seen "Christmas Vacation")




(Aldo is a mishmash of one part old time radio with a healthy helping of "Lucky Star" Madonna and a dash of very Now detectable wiring and bedazzled mic. What a mix!)



In the Lower East Side We Can Build a Snowman






A snow day like the one I shared with Miss JB Monday should happen to all the fair folks in this city 





We started next door from her apartment at Stanton Public warming ourselves up with Pumking beers and noshing on homemade popcorn





that popcorn were delish and thanks to bartender Christina for keeping our bowl ever full








and with p-corn and pumpkin stuffed tummies we helped the bartenders craft a snowman









complete with hat, scarf and glasses from lost and found






feeling satisfied and slightly drunk we ran around in the snow causing more mischief and just playing like two kids loose in the snow covered city


video


More snow days, please!

Monday, December 27, 2010

This Teint Good

Ok, maybe my sixth grade is showing here and all, but surely there was a meeting somewhere along the line where someone in Lancome Inc spoke up, right?




I mean, have you not a product development team? Have you not some guy in marketing who might point out the chuckle inducing name?


"Umm, Mr. Lancome, sir... this looks an awful lot like a part of your body that ain't quite your bum and ain't quite your naughty bits. Should we rethink the name?"


Mr Lancome:  Nonsense, Samuel, it's a hit if I've ever seen one. We'll just get some silly American girl known for her toothy grin and those foolish Americans won't be able to stop buying it! Hit, hit, hit! 

Your One and Only Lover

Oh no, the rumors have been confirmed that funky white girl, Teena Marie has passed away





RIP Lady Tee. May you and Rick James make Heaven even more super freaky yowwww



All That Forever 21 Jazz


Forever 21's window right now is feeling a little Liza, a little Harlem Renaissance 




although a bowler hat and a mini skirt aren't all that practical for a day like today




The First Snow's the Deepest Part 3


Even the police are unable to thwart the Blizzard's diabolical plans


video




Sunday, December 26, 2010

Brave the Blizzard and Return this to Target


This Ke$ha monkey is why gift receipts were invented 


video


and if you got this from a relative assume they don't like you, don't know you and have no clue how short on space for useless novelty items your apartment is. 




The First Snow's the Deepest Part 2

So the snow is hittin' the fan now, boo!

video

The First Snow's the Deepest Part 1



Well today at my half day of work, I got the early view of Snow-mageddon 2010 and it was pretty and fun and light-hearted

But it's the beginning and I don't have a car so it's all fun and games. For now


video


More to come

Friday, December 24, 2010

Somehow It's More Cold Outside Now, Baby

Before Santa comes let's have a visit from the Spirit of Christmas Past

Picture it: 2008 and GAP ads were still fun little tidbits filled with pop cultural references and surprise celeb "gets".

The annual Holiday ads were particularly happy little jaunts that just happened to be selling striped merino wool sweaters






In "Baby, It's Cold Outside", part of a collection of GAP duets that year, Selma turns the tables on Rainn with my favorite sorta Chistmassy but mostly sexually harassing song. Rainn gets in the last quip though with a final "no" that's less "means no" and more "nuh uh girl"

And what the hell is that double double boil and trouble he's drinking? CLEARLY roofied!



Oh GAP, where has this merry spirit gone? Now it's all so cold and grey

(although go Yaya! Make dat money, boo!)


Window Dressing on the Side: Ben Sherman



Oh! Christmas tree

I Hope Santa Sticks to his Sleigh


Cuz I don't need another bicyclist to dodge in the streets


Thursday, December 23, 2010

All I Want for X-mas is Two Months of HEAT





Cuz that's about how long I could try to guess which "X Factor" judge is snogging off with a member of 'Take That' / 'Girls Aloud' and trying to dress like 'The Saturdays'






But man oh man would I enjoy those 8 blessed weeks brimming with Brit gossip


Mars Bar's Multi-Tasking Anarchy Santa


Looks like capitalist pigs have been naughty again this year. Will they ever learn?




You just can't beat an anarchistic Vishnu Santa with a drinking problem!


From Vamp to Dandy

Well excuse me, Mr Alexander Skarsgard




I didn't realize you'd come to handsome the place up





 Man, these Hickey Freeman ads make me wanna buy a suit and loiter in alleyways

DON'T: Creepy CB2 Elves





This is the creepiest army of darkness ever and that hug stance is way too



And I gotta pay $6 for these little buggers to come alive at nite and steal my breath? 

I'll pass






(creepy overly-affectionate elf candle holder, $6 at http://www.cb2.com/)

City Life Dictionary: Meander-thal




With Christmas shopping in the last chaotic throes, Soho has become shellacked with slow folks a slowin'.

 Now's the perfect time to enact the term my friend, Miss AG coined:



Meander-thals:  (n) slow moving pedestrians taking up more than their share of New York City sidewalks and being obnoxiously oblivious about moving forward or letting those behind them move forward




And I wish I could assert that they were all from out of town



Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Not a Fan of Chocolate


I discovered last nite at a X-mas party that I have a little bias against hot chocolate





I've never really understood hot chocolate. It seems so sad. I always think of it as a drink for frigid old women or Jane Austen characters






Or Oprah.

Oprah would totally put it in her "Favorite Things" and that sea of housewives would freak out. And how much sex is going on in that room?






About Me

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I'm a fashion writer who writes for Bluefly, EDGE Media, VIRAL Fashion, etc. I use "It Can't All Be Dior" as a safe release for my love of coats, cats and cake. Phew!